Lame jokes and more

Emo status

2007-09-21T05:47:00.001-07:00

My life sucks.

I fail as a son, I fail as a grandson.

I fail as a family member, I fail as a relative.

I fail as a student, I fail as a subject representative.

I fail as a chairperson, I fail as a vice-captain.

I fail as an educated person, I fail as an entertainer.

I fail as a dancer, I fail as a singer.

I fail as an actor, I fail as a friend.

I fail as a classmate, I fail as a schoolmate.

I fail in interpersonal skills, I fail in relationships.

I fail as a neighbour, I fail as a citizen.

I fail as a human, I fail in my life.

But hey I succeed in making myself a failure,

Which means I fail as a failure.

Oh my, my life sucks; Fail-u’re.

2007-06-27T07:09:00.000-07:00

25. A young woman wanted to make her sex life more interesting and hence decided to do something extraordinary. She began to greet her husband when he comes back from work nude, yes nude.
An old women heard about this and wanted to try it out. She waited for her husband to return and greeted him nude. Her husband then said something, what he said?
I think you should iron your clothes.(no offense)

2007-06-26T07:30:00.000-07:00

24. What Happened to the fly on the toilet seat?
He got pissed off! ( one of my favourite too)

2007-06-26T07:29:00.000-07:00

23. A traveling salesman was driving down a country road when a rabbit ran in front of his car and he hit it. The proverbial farmer was sitting on the fence watching. The salesman gets out of his car and opens the trunk. He then removes an aerosol can and sprays the contents on the dead rabbit. The next thing you know the rabbit gets up and hops about 20 ft. down the road, turns and waves to the salesman, goes another 20 ft. and waves to the salesman. The salesman looks at the farmer and says "he'll be ok ay now." The salesman gets into his car and leaves. The farmer wondering what's going on walks over to the ditch where the salesman threw the can, picks it up and read the label which said FOR HARE RESTORATION AND PERMANENT WAVE.
Personal favourite.

2007-06-26T07:27:00.000-07:00

22. Why do they put bells on cows?
Because their horns don't work!

2007-06-25T05:02:00.000-07:00

21. A history teacher asked his students why they hated history?
They answer because they see no future in it.

2007-06-24T08:29:00.001-07:00

20. There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count. And those who can't.
(means i cannot count)

2007-06-24T08:28:00.001-07:00

19. Two sausages are in a pan. One looks at the other and says "god it's hot in here, and the other sausage says "OH MY GOD IT'S A TALKING SAUSAGE!"

2007-06-24T08:27:00.000-07:00

18. What does Mozart do now that he is dead?
He decomposes. ( compose songs when alive) - one of my favourite

2007-06-24T08:26:00.002-07:00

17. Why don't cannibals eat comedians?
Because they taste funny

2007-06-24T08:26:00.001-07:00

16. why didn't the chicken cross the road?
Because he was too chicken.

2007-06-24T08:25:00.001-07:00

15. A termite walks into a barroom and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

2007-06-24T08:23:00.000-07:00

14. Two peanuts were walking down a spooky road at night... One was assaulted.

2007-06-23T00:08:00.000-07:00

13. why do mermaids wear seashells?
because B shells are too small and D shells are too big. (C shells)

2007-06-22T03:03:00.000-07:00

12.Why did the bicycle lie against the wall?
because it was too tired(two tyre)

2007-06-19T02:56:00.000-07:00

11. Why are bananas flexible?
because they can split(banana split) LGN@kopirighted

2007-06-19T02:55:00.001-07:00

10. how do you peel a banana without much effort?
Bring it to suntan, get a sunburn and it will peel. LGN@kopirighted

2007-06-17T21:51:00.000-07:00

9. Why ant-eaters will not fall sick?
becoz they are filled with antibodies.

2007-06-17T21:50:00.000-07:00

8. Which animal is the most uneven?
Polar bear (polar = uneven distribution of charge)

2007-06-17T18:35:00.000-07:00

continuing from 6
7. A passerby didn't know about the 'free' cut. He saw the long queue and said something. what did he say?
Barbecue(barber queue)!

2007-06-17T18:28:00.000-07:00

6. There was a barber shop. On the first day, a teacher came and cut her hair. The barber didn't charge her because he felt that she contributed a lot to the society by educating people. On the second day, a box of chocolate was placed outside the door by the teacher to thank the barber.
Later that day, a minister went for a cut. He too wasn't charged as the barber felt that he did the community well. The following day, another box of chocolate was seen outside the door.
On the third day, a businessman came for a cut. He too wasn't charged as the barber felt that he had contributed a lot to the economy. Guess what was outside the next day?
ANS: a long queue.

2007-06-17T03:56:00.000-07:00

5.Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
The witch (punny) LGN@kopirighted

2007-06-16T19:15:00.000-07:00

4. which fruit likes to smile the most?
Green(grin) apple. LGN@kopirighted

2007-06-16T09:29:00.000-07:00

3. Why did the skeleton cross the road in the end?
To get to THE BODY SHOP.

2007-06-16T09:28:00.000-07:00

2.Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he had NOBODY to go with.

Lame jokes

2007-06-16T08:29:00.000-07:00

1. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
because he had no guts.